A LONGER READ from On The Wing.

Delayed Grief.

Recently at HMP Buckley Hall we held the final session of our current “Living With Loss” course. For the first five weeks the course is primarily secular but in the last gathering we discuss how Christians seek to cope with loss and share testimonies of how the Lord ministered to us and brought us through times of bereavement. It was a particularly moving session and the men listened intently. As the certificates were being given out everyone expressed how the course had helped them and given them comfort and hope for the future.

Dealing with tragedy, grief and loss is difficult in itself, but it is so much harder for those who are in prison. They are unable to be there for their family to help them through, and for security reasons it is not always possible for prisoners to attend the actual funeral service. They therefore feel unable to grieve as they should and try to shelve their mourning for a later time. While ministering to prisoners struggling with bereavement we often come across this phenomenon of “Delayed Grief” when someone pushes their mourning aside rather than dealing with it right away. This can lead to serious mental health issues further on down the line.

Some inmates tell us they are waiting until they are released, and then they will be able to visit their loved ones' grave and finally mourn for them. However this causes them to sink into deep depression. One man told us he could not grieve over the loss of his wife because he had to be strong for his children. Bottling things up however drove him to drink, which in turn eventually led him to uncharacteristic, violent behaviour and this was why he ended up in prison.

I find it a tremendous privilege and blessing to be able to come alongside these men at such times and offer them peace, comfort, healing of their broken hearts and new life in Christ. We often find that the Living With Loss course becomes the gateway to prisoners going on to take part in our other courses such as “Alpha” or “Christianity Explored” and finally coming to a saving knowledge of the Lord. We are so grateful for the prayers and support of our partners in this work. Please continue to share in our labours, knowing that it is not in vain.

Nick Stirling.

supported by Benefact Trust.

Photo by Ron Lach.